Category Archives: Humor / satire

Dolly Would

Posted on August 29, 2026 by 34orion

A long layover, a Dolly Parton rabbit hole, Linda Ronstadt, Neil Young, and one uncomfortable question: how much of our happiness are we willing to hand over to politics?

Dolly had a pretty good answer Continue reading →

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The Ted Lasso Way

Posted on August 9, 2026 by 34orion

Six years ago, when everything felt broken, a fictional football coach showed up with a yellow sign that said BELIEVE.

This week, watching Washington turn grievance into theater yet again, I found myself thinking about Ted Lasso, Anthony Fauci, optimism, and one line that feels especially useful right now:

“Don’t fight back. Fight forward.”

New piece: The Ted Lasso Way Continue reading →

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What We Do In The Shadows: The White House Edition

Posted on August 2, 2026 by 34orion

I wasn’t looking for vampires. They found me—first while I was trapped in Staten Island traffic, then in Washington, where one especially needy specimen has turned the entire country into his emotional-support animal.

A little tale about What We Do in the Shadows, Truth Social, and the exhausting experience of being governed by a man who feeds on grievance, attention and whatever joy America still has left. Continue reading →

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The Cheeto Dust Cup

Posted on July 20, 2026 by 34orion

The World Cup final had a 90-minute ceremony, a Tom Cruise monologue, and confiscated protest signs. Also, somewhere in there, a soccer match — Argentina didn’t manage a single shot on goal.

New: The Cheeto Dust Cup Continue reading →

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Cheeto Dust

Posted on July 19, 2026 by 34orion

Went for a walk to clear my head. Came back with a eulogy for my cat, some inherited wisdom about fairy dust, and a working theory that Cheeto dust is its evil twin. New essay is up. 🧡🪄 Continue reading →

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The Marquee Mood Ring

Posted on July 11, 2026 by 34orion

Summer movies used to be an escape. This year, they’re a mirror. 🎬
Jaws taught us to fear the water. Jackass, Minions & Monsters, and Animal Farm are teaching us something else entirely — a pretty unflattering portrait of where we are as a country right now.
New on Tomahawk and Crown: what this summer’s blockbusters (and one very ancient odyssey) reveal about the nation we’ve become — and the one we might still get back to.
Read it here: [link] 🍿 Continue reading →

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The Trump Stability Index

Posted on June 26, 2026 by 34orion

A weekly composite of ten objective measures, each scored 1–10 and oriented the same way — 10 = steadiest, 1 = most chaotic. Every component is scored against his own trailing 8-week baseline. Version 1.0. Continue reading →

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It Could Have Been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Posted on June 20, 2026 by 34orion

The week gave us screwworms, algae, and a Qatari Air Force One. Thursday gave us something the Grifter-in-Chief will never have Continue reading →

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The Department of His Justice

Posted on June 2, 2026 by 34orion

The Department of His Justice” — a cheerful little tour through weaponized prosecutions, loyalty payouts, and what happens when norms meet a narcissist with subpoena power. Continue reading →

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Six Years Ago, Today

Posted on June 2, 2026 by 34orion

Six years ago I flew home from pandemic lockdown in Brazil believing America still knew the difference between leadership and a late-stage infomercial host with a persecution complex.

I was wrong.

A little jet lag, a little heartbreak, a little rage, and just enough dark humor to survive reading the headlines. If you’ve ever looked at the news and thought “how did we get HERE?” — this one’s for you. 🇺🇸🔥

Read before they replace the Statue of Liberty with a gold-plated grievance monument. Continue reading →

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