Tag Archives: writing

It Could Have Been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Posted on June 20, 2026 by 34orion

The week gave us screwworms, algae, and a Qatari Air Force One. Thursday gave us something the Grifter-in-Chief will never have Continue reading →

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Additions to the Highlight Reel, Before the Nation Gets Relegated

Posted on June 13, 2026 by 34orion

Sports gives us highlight reels. Politics gives us blooper reels with subpoenas.
This week, the Knicks added one to the good reel. Now I’m hoping for two more: Brazil’s sixth star and a Blue Tsunami big enough to remind Team USA that the coach is supposed to lead the team, not admire himself during the timeout. Continue reading →

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No Good Deeds

Posted on June 6, 2026 by 34orion

A black-and-white movie from 1936 accidentally explains everything that’s wrong with America in 2026.

When Longfellow Deeds inherited a fortune, the question was what responsibility came with wealth. Today, billionaires seem to think responsibility is something other people pay for.

How did we get from Gary Cooper’s America to Elon Musk’s? Grab a drink and come down the rabbit hole.

#Politics #Economics #WealthInequality Continue reading →

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Six Years Ago, Today

Posted on June 2, 2026 by 34orion

Six years ago I flew home from pandemic lockdown in Brazil believing America still knew the difference between leadership and a late-stage infomercial host with a persecution complex.

I was wrong.

A little jet lag, a little heartbreak, a little rage, and just enough dark humor to survive reading the headlines. If you’ve ever looked at the news and thought “how did we get HERE?” — this one’s for you. 🇺🇸🔥

Read before they replace the Statue of Liberty with a gold-plated grievance monument. Continue reading →

Posted in covid, Humor / satire, institutional poverty, opinion, personal essay, Politics and Society, Social Media, Trump cuts | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Absolut Worst

Posted on April 25, 2026 by 34orion

This week I had lunch with the guy who literally wrote the book on Absolut advertising. And it got me thinking: what if I pitched Absolut today?
So I did. With a little help from AI.
The results are… something. 🍸 Continue reading →

Posted in culture, Humor / satire, opinion, personal essay, Politics and Society, Trump cuts, Trump Opposition | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

America, We’ve Been Punk’d

Posted on April 18, 2026 by 34orion

“After two Chopin Martinis, six blue cheese stuffed olives and forty-five minutes of listening to me list the indignities perpetrated by the Trump administration this week, he turned to me and with a wicked grin said in mildly slurred speech, ‘What if this is a very elaborate episode of Punk’d.’ Imagine this…” Continue reading →

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When The Wolves Howl

Posted on April 4, 2026 by 34orion

An old Russian parable about wolves and survival isn’t just a story—it’s a strategy. When the howling starts, loyalty has a shelf life, and someone always gets pushed off the sled. Continue reading →

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Making Airport Lines Great Again

Posted on March 29, 2026 by 34orion

After 3.3 million miles, airports once meant escape and possibility. Now they feel like a monument to Trump’s ego—longer TSA lines, performative fixes, and policy driven less by competence than by the refusal to ever admit being wrong. The magic didn’t fade. It was suffocated. Continue reading →

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The Butterfly and The Bloviator

Posted on March 21, 2026 by 34orion

Trump made a Pearl Harbor joke to the Japanese PM’s face. Hegseth declared war on religious extremism while sporting a Crusades battle-cry tattoo. Bondi’s DOJ dropped the Breonna Taylor charges. And my friend Morgan told me karma would sort it all out. This week’s post is part political autopsy, part philosophy, and ends — improbably — with a butterfly. Continue reading →

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How Many Donald Trumps Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Posted on February 22, 2026 by 34orion

Fear demands attention. It always has. Some express it in tears, some in anger, some in power. But laughter is the one response fear cannot survive, because it refuses to grant fear authority over the moment Continue reading →

Posted in Fake News, Humor / satire, personal essay, Politics and Society, Trump Opposition | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment