Tag Archives: writing

The Ted Lasso Way

Posted on August 9, 2026 by 34orion

Six years ago, when everything felt broken, a fictional football coach showed up with a yellow sign that said BELIEVE.

This week, watching Washington turn grievance into theater yet again, I found myself thinking about Ted Lasso, Anthony Fauci, optimism, and one line that feels especially useful right now:

“Don’t fight back. Fight forward.”

New piece: The Ted Lasso Way Continue reading →

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What We Do In The Shadows: The White House Edition

Posted on August 2, 2026 by 34orion

I wasn’t looking for vampires. They found me—first while I was trapped in Staten Island traffic, then in Washington, where one especially needy specimen has turned the entire country into his emotional-support animal.

A little tale about What We Do in the Shadows, Truth Social, and the exhausting experience of being governed by a man who feeds on grievance, attention and whatever joy America still has left. Continue reading →

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Cheeto Dust

Posted on July 19, 2026 by 34orion

Went for a walk to clear my head. Came back with a eulogy for my cat, some inherited wisdom about fairy dust, and a working theory that Cheeto dust is its evil twin. New essay is up. 🧡🪄 Continue reading →

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How The World Cup Defeated The Orange News Cycle

Posted on June 28, 2026 by 34orion

I thought marriage meant love, compromise, and pretending decorative pillows serve a purpose.

Turns out it also meant swearing lifelong loyalty to Brazilian soccer.

This one is about the World Cup, marriage, Brazil, and the blessed miracle of replacing the orange news cycle with a month of yellow jerseys, questionable officiating, and emotional damage in Portuguese.

Give it a read. Continue reading →

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It Could Have Been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Posted on June 20, 2026 by 34orion

The week gave us screwworms, algae, and a Qatari Air Force One. Thursday gave us something the Grifter-in-Chief will never have Continue reading →

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Additions to the Highlight Reel, Before the Nation Gets Relegated

Posted on June 13, 2026 by 34orion

Sports gives us highlight reels. Politics gives us blooper reels with subpoenas.
This week, the Knicks added one to the good reel. Now I’m hoping for two more: Brazil’s sixth star and a Blue Tsunami big enough to remind Team USA that the coach is supposed to lead the team, not admire himself during the timeout. Continue reading →

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No Good Deeds

Posted on June 6, 2026 by 34orion

A black-and-white movie from 1936 accidentally explains everything that’s wrong with America in 2026.

When Longfellow Deeds inherited a fortune, the question was what responsibility came with wealth. Today, billionaires seem to think responsibility is something other people pay for.

How did we get from Gary Cooper’s America to Elon Musk’s? Grab a drink and come down the rabbit hole.

#Politics #Economics #WealthInequality Continue reading →

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Six Years Ago, Today

Posted on June 2, 2026 by 34orion

Six years ago I flew home from pandemic lockdown in Brazil believing America still knew the difference between leadership and a late-stage infomercial host with a persecution complex.

I was wrong.

A little jet lag, a little heartbreak, a little rage, and just enough dark humor to survive reading the headlines. If you’ve ever looked at the news and thought “how did we get HERE?” — this one’s for you. 🇺🇸🔥

Read before they replace the Statue of Liberty with a gold-plated grievance monument. Continue reading →

Posted in covid, Humor / satire, institutional poverty, opinion, personal essay, Politics and Society, Social Media, Trump cuts | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Absolut Worst

Posted on April 25, 2026 by 34orion

This week I had lunch with the guy who literally wrote the book on Absolut advertising. And it got me thinking: what if I pitched Absolut today?
So I did. With a little help from AI.
The results are… something. 🍸 Continue reading →

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America, We’ve Been Punk’d

Posted on April 18, 2026 by 34orion

“After two Chopin Martinis, six blue cheese stuffed olives and forty-five minutes of listening to me list the indignities perpetrated by the Trump administration this week, he turned to me and with a wicked grin said in mildly slurred speech, ‘What if this is a very elaborate episode of Punk’d.’ Imagine this…” Continue reading →

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