Over the course of this past weekend, one song has been on repeat.
Should I stay or should I go now? (tengo frío por los ojos)
If I go there will be trouble (si voy voy haber peligro)
And if I stay it wil be double (si me quedo sera el doble)
So ya gotta let me know me you had to decide
Should I stay or should I go?
While I prefer London calling, Should I stay or should I go was far more appropriate. The current situation is this. I have a reservation to come home on March 27th on a nonstop flight from Rio De Janiero to JFK. And make no mistake about it. I want very much to be on that flight.
Not only do I not fully believe that the health care system here is going to be able to bear up under the onslaught of this virus. While the disease is in incipient stage and weather conditions will slow down the spread of the virus if the Favella’s catch the disease the hospitals will be overrun and adequate health care will be impossible to come by. While the situation in the US, specifically NY or NJ is not perfect it does seem that our governor/s have taken adequate action to flatten the curve. And, my health care providers are there as well.
There are other minor issues as well such as apartment, car, and Rosie that worry me as well. An extended stay away from them can prove problematic and in the case of Princess Couch not without expense.
The challenge here is that Elaine does not want to leave. And who can blame her.
She feels that when are fairly secure in our home here. We are surrounded by two walls and the only interaction we have is with our housekeeper/cook and outside man. We have reduced their hours to 3 days a week and that will likely drop to two as they travel here by mass transportation and we feel they are putting us and them at risk with their commute. We have now asked them to come via car, which we pay for to limit their and our exposure to the virus. They will also do our grocery shopping for us and we will all maintain social distancing when they come.
While this could be considered exploitive in some ways it manages everybody’s risks and make sure they have a steady income. Or perhaps I am fooling myself.
She feels that going to the airport and getting on an airplane is risky. She is certainly has good reasons for her concern. Anywhere you go where you will be with people puts you at risk. And the longer you wait the more like this concerned is justified.
Additionally, she is not confident that the US will accept a foreign national on a tourist visa into the country. I appreciate this concern as the current administration has shown little or no compassion when it comes to people entering the country. I have sent a note off to the consulate attempting to get them to respond to our unique situation (married 7 years no permanent visa or green card) but have not heard back from them as of yet.
I could certainly leave, and Elaine could stay but that is not a great option for a number of reasons.
First, we are married. We should be together at a time of crisis. Neither of us wants to be alone at this time. I would feel awful should I leave and something happened to her and powerless to help. I would like I was abrogating my vow to protect her.
Both of us, at various times, have our moments of courage and moments of fear. We live in uncharted waters but together we buoy each other.
When I begin to fear, and wish to flee, I think of Pop’s uncle who when learning his wife was being sent to a camp jumped on the transport so she would not be alone. I don’t think I have that type of courage but staying right now is my only option as they have just now cancelled all flights on AA until May 10.
I guess I could find a way home via several different ways. But that seems like a bad risk. And, it would be bad form.
So what Elaine and I have decided is that I am going to stay until AA starts flying home again. As of now I have a reservation that puts me back in Newark on May 10. We hope that this keeps us safe but at least we will be together. We also hope that at this time we will have worked through her visa status.
I still have to make arrangements for Rosie, car, and apartment but that is relatively simple.
I miss my family and friends. Perhaps we can Zoom.