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The Green Flash

The man I am speaking about is not famous. He never will be. When his life came to a close, he left no more trace of his sojourn on earth than a stone thrown into a river leaves on the surface of the water. But it may be that the way of life that he has chosen for himself and the peculiar strength and sweetness of his character may have an ever-growing influence over those who knew and loved him so that, long after his death perhaps, it may be realized that there lived in this age a very remarkable creature.” Continue reading

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The Green Flash

I try to focus on the miracle of now. I am in the middle of a golden ocean, off an island many describe as paradise, on a planet that has, against all odds, given birth to life. We are here to celebrate the lives of people we love, a miracle in itself considering the incalculable odds of loving two people in a world of billions, in a galaxy of four thousand solar systems and a universe of 100 trillion galaxies. That is my prayer. That is my miracle. My way to God. Continue reading

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The Green Flash

“Don’t you see that is your legacy to me. That when you find joy in life seize it and scream with delight until you cannot scream any more. Enjoy the ride while you can because you don’t know how many more runs you are going to get. “ Continue reading

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The Green Flash

“Sure you could have done more.  Everyone can always do a little more. Even in situations where you feel like you have done everything that you possibly can at some point you realize that you weren’t creative enough. You lacked imagination or followed the wrong path. You were not strong enough to try one more thing. There will always be something more you can have done. Those are the should haves, could haves and would haves everyone faces when the shit hits the fan. My question to you is why are you flagellating yourself over being imperfect?  Continue reading

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The Green Flash

The world was carrying on as if nothing had happened. Isn’t that always the way after tragedies, especially personal ones? You think the hold world should stop. Take a moment. Understand that what has happened has fundamentally changed your universe. But it never does Continue reading

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The Green Flash

Life, took place on the flat screens of your computer, tablet, and phone. Zoom calls, Facetime and Skype were your only connections to the outside world and while they were godsends of technology, they contributed to a sense that reality was not a tangible thing. It only existed in your mind’s eye. Continue reading

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The Green Flash

“The point is in mourning for my father I appreciated all of him.  Understanding who he was and why he was that way gave me a purpose that allowed me to navigate my grief better. It was his final gift to me and like so many things he gave me I can’t thank him. My point to you nephew is your father had his faults. Embrace them and let them humanize him. There is no question it will help with the pain but maybe you will get lucky, like me, and it will provide you with a bigger purpose.” Continue reading

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The Green Flash

“Don’t you dare get pissed at me. I have earned the right to tell you the truth. It may not be the truth as you see it. And feel free to tell me to fuck off and I don’t know what I am talking about. But remember for forty years I have had your back. Always. Still do. But that makes it my responsibility to do right by you. Not to be nice and tell you what you want to hear but be kind enough to tell you the truth as I see it.” Continue reading

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The Green Flash

I woke up just as the train was leaving Stanford. My seatmate was still fully engrossed by her spreadsheet. Tying to be the hale and hearty fellow traveler I asked, “I am going up to the club car for a cup of coffee may I bring you back something?” Not even taking the time to look up from her computer screen she replied frostily no thank you.” As I made my way through the rocking train to get my coffee, I thought to myself “What a bitch.” Continue reading

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Chapter 10

You have to take some of that responsibility. You can’t put it all on him. I don’t see you owning up to your mistakes. What I see, what I have seen since this cluster fuck of a divorce started is each of you blaming the other for why your marriage fell apart instead of each of you accepting you fucked up. That it was too far gone to fix. And instead of saying we had our time, we have two great boys and some good memories, you both went about trying to destroy each other. A divorce that could have been over in months didn’t end until it killed Conor.” Continue reading

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