Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Starbucks Revolution

Posted on August 24, 2025 by 34orion

PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION The Starbucks Revolution: Coffee Cargo Dumped in Santos Harbor in Protest of Global Tariffs and Corporate Overreach SANTOS, BRAZIL – [Today’s Date] – In a stunt equal parts historic homage and caffeinated mischief, a group … Continue reading →

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There is Something to Be Said for Hanging Out on a Sunny Summer Friday Morning In Montclair with Your Sister

Posted on August 16, 2025 by 34orion

There is something to be said for spending a sunny summer Friday morning in Montclair with your sister. First, per a long-standing and ironclad agreement with said sister, I must note that she is much, much younger than me. Exactly … Continue reading →

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Civility Is Often Overrated

Posted on August 9, 2025 by 34orion

It is 3:14 in the morning. I know this because I just broke one of my cardinal rules for getting a good night’s sleep and looked at my phone. My excuse is that I haven’t been able to fall back asleep … Continue reading →

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Oh That Don!

Posted on August 2, 2025 by 34orion

Excerpt from the Diary of an NIH Staff MemberSeptember 26, 2025 I should’ve known from how my day started that it was going to be one of those “grit your teeth, keep your head down, and hope you survive without … Continue reading →

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“There but for the grace of God go I.”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by 34orion

Imagine, if you will, that the citizens of the United States suffer a collective psychosis and manage to elect as President a well-known con man and real estate developer from New York City. I know that’s hard to imagine—but work … Continue reading →

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Did You Watch The ESPY’s

Posted on July 19, 2025 by 34orion

Did you watch the ESPYs the other night? What I love about the ESPYs—and sports in general—is that they allow you to throw your passion behind something that, in the grand scheme of things, matters very little. I mean, it … Continue reading →

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Lowenzahn Wein

Posted on July 15, 2025 by 34orion

It is 11:45 and we are in hotel room in Baden, Austria. It is an unremarkable room in that it resembles most mid priced hotel rooms in : It has very simple modern wood furniture, two twin beds that are … Continue reading →

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Meu Amor

Posted on July 14, 2025 by 34orion

She looked as if she belonged in a Paul Gaugin painting. Long thick black hair, brown skin and curves where a woman should have curves. She moved with the grace of a lioness.  She smelled of the beach and she … Continue reading →

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Fireworks, Flags, and Forgetting the Point

Posted on July 4, 2025 by 34orion

July 4th, for most Americans, is a day we celebrate our country. We revel in what it means to be American. We dress in red, white, and blue. We have parades. We go to fairs. We fire up the BBQ. … Continue reading →

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Internet Science: Where Your Aunt’s Facebook Page Has a PhD

Posted on June 29, 2025 by 34orion

Welcome to the golden age of misinformation—where every yoga influencer with a ring light and a detox code is suddenly an epidemiologist. Forget peer-reviewed journals—who needs those when you’ve got TikTok tutorials telling you to chug vinegar and sunbathe your … Continue reading →

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