The waiting room outside HR only has two people in it.

Sitting opposite each other both are busily avoiding making eye contact with each other by paying far more attention to their cell phones than was required. The one of the Bespeckled with round tortoise shell frames and off the rack suit white shirt and rep tie the one he had the look and the insincere smile of a moderately successful real estate agent who had not sold a house in a while.

The one of the far right looks like a former goth who has tried to go mainstream and forgotten to remove his eyeliner and mascara. His closely cropped beard originally grown to project confidence and  cover up an insincere chin and baby face misses the mark on all of them. If you saw him hanging outside a 7/11 at night wearing a hoodie you would get into your car as quickly as possible.

The door opens and a kindly looking woman in her mid-forties and wearing a neutral colored, well cut pant suit emerges. She beckons both them into her office. They make themselves comfortable in midcentury modern chairs whose burnt orange upholstery looks as if it has been visited by a few too many backsides in recent months. She sits behind her desk, which solid build would look at home in any mid-level bureaucrat’s office in Washington. Behind her is large window, which from her third floor office depicts Pennsylvania Avenue with hundreds of thousands of demonstrators holding placards and banners that even from this distance you can see say “No Kings.”

The woman gives the men a few moments to look out the woman in the hopes that they will add more gravitas to their meeting. But both men assiduously avoid what is going on outside and busy themselves with an examination of their professional manicures. Sighing she says “Gentlemen, let me introduce myself. My name is Carmen Decenci and I am the head of Human Resources. Do you know why I have called you in today.”

“Jesus, I hope its not about any of that DEI BS. You know how much the boss hates that stuff.” said the former goth and potential 7/11 parking lot stalker.

“Mr. Vance let me disabuse you of a couple of things. First, DEI is not BS. It is system that ensures that we find the most qualified candidates regardless of whether or not you played Lacrosse with them in high school or belong to same country club. It makes sures that the upper mobility that is the cornerstone of our democracy functions the way it should.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Let me continue. The person you are referring to is not the boss. He is the President. He serves the people. Not himself. Or at least that is the way the constitution sees the job. Look what is going on outside the window. Those people are the real bosses and their the ones who demanded I ask you to my office.”

Vance looks down and mumbles. “Whatever. He still won’t like it.”

Ms. Decenci continues “But today we are not talking about DEI. We have a couple of other issues that are demanding our attention today.” Shifting her attention to the bespeckled man who has been amusing himself with his favorite activity, twiddling his thumbs she says “Mr. Johnson, didn’t Arizona just elect a new member of Congress.”

“Yes, but…”

“I am not finished yet. So the people of Arizona have expressed their wishes yet you have not seen fit to swear this person in yet. Why is that?”

Johnson adjust his glasses and responds “The House is not in session.”

Sharing a look she normally reserved for her children when they are trying to avoid responsibility for something they have done she says “I know that. But aren’t you the guy who calls the House into session.”

“Well….”

“And isn’t the reason you have not called the House into session because despite having a majority you cannot seem to pass a bill that keeps the country running.”

“But the Democrats won’t pass the continuing resolution we want.”

“Yes. I know. But isn’t that how democracy is supposed to work. Both sides can’t what they want, so they compromise and find a middle ground both can live with? And by keeping the house closed no compromise is even possible. How is that responsible government?”

“But…”

“Rhetorical question. What I have heard “pointing a thumb out the window indicating the loud crowd outside “Is the reason that you can’t compromise is the Dems want to make sure millions of people don’t lose their health care and millions more premiums become so high they won’t be able afford it. Don’t you think everyone deserves healthcare in this country. Not just the rich, the fortunate and members of congress?”

“I don’t see…”

“Again, not a question. You can hem and haw all you like but my obligation as head of HR is to remind that your job as Speaker of the House is to serve everyone. Rich, poor, democrats, republicans. And right now you are not coming close to doing that. You won’t even swear in a duly elected member because you are frightened you might lose your job.. Your job is to do your job. Not cower in fear.”

Vance looking at his watch interrupts “Pardon me. Is this going to be much longer. The boss invited me to watch him play golf and he promised me I could wash his balls this time  and I don’t want to be late.”

Carmen Decenci shares a sardonic smile with Vance and says “I was just getting to you. I want to talk to you about that group of “Young Republicans group chat. You know the one where they said “I love Hitler,” “You can’t expect Jews to be honest.” “Rape is epic,”  referred to African American’s as “monkeys” people from India don’t bathe often and referred to the neurodiverse as retards.”

Vance sighs and says “C’mon. It was just a bunch kids telling stupid jokes. It is what kids do especially young boys. They tell offensive jokes. I am sure there are college group chats that are far worse. People need to grow up and not be offended so easily.”

“Which demonstrates exactly why you are here. As a leader you have an obligation to stamp out hate speech, wherever it comes from, not excuse it. By saying boys will be boys you are giving permission to anyone who wants to engage in antisemitic, racist and sexist language. What makes it worse is that these “young Republicans” are not so young. Most of them were in the thirties and forties. There were many in the group who are your age. But instead of taking the opportunity to instruct and correct you gave these miscreants cover.

Vance opened his mouth to say something and Camren Decenci held up hand signaling him to be quiet and then said in the ice cold tone of someone who has gone past and into the furious and says “You failed as a leader. Your failed as a human.”  Then addressing both of them says “ I wish there was someway that I could insist of both of you changing your behavior. Unfortunately, I don’t have that power but “again pointing out the window at the people gathered below “Those people do. And when you are going to be reporting to the unemployment office not HR.

Outside, the chants swell louder—No Kings, No Cowards, No Compromise Carmen leans back, folds her hands, and says quietly, “History has a flawless HR department, gentlemen. It always conducts its exit interviews, sometimes with ballots, sometimes with bullhorns, but always on time. Now get of my office before I have to throw you out.”