This week, Donald Trump proposed changing the name of Veterans Day to “Victory Day for World War I” and designating May 8 as “Victory Day for World War II.” His rationale? The United States, in his words, “did more than any other country, by far, in producing a victorious result” in both conflicts.

Well, f***.

It’s not surprising Trump got the facts wrong. That’s his norm. According to PolitiFact, 76% of his statements are rated “Mostly False,” “False,” or “Pants on Fire.” Nor is it shocking that no one in his current administration had the guts to say, “Yo, your orange excellency, maybe think before you post.” After all, most of his appointees seem chosen solely for their ability to kowtow. (Example: Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security? Lee Zeldin running the EPA? Come on.)

And sure, Trump loves renaming things and making them about himself. Gold-plated narcissism is his signature aesthetic. But this one’s particularly offensive.

Well Fuck, The World Didn’t Wait for Us

The U.S. entered World War I late — nearly three years after it began, and didn’t engage in major combat until early 1918. By then, our future allies had been bleeding for years. Here’s what that sacrifice looked like:

• Russia: ~1.8 million dead, ~4.9 million wounded/missing
• France: ~1.4 million dead, ~4.2 million wounded/missing
• British Empire: ~900,000 dead, ~2.1 million wounded/missing
• Italy: ~650,000 dead
• Serbia: ~275,000 dead
• Others (Romania, Belgium, Greece, etc.): ~300,000–400,000

The United States?

• ~116,000 dead
• ~204,000 wounded

That’s less than 2% of total Allied casualties. Did we make a difference? Absolutely. But did we do “more than any other country”? Not even close.

Well Fuck, Veterans Day Isn’t About Victory

Originally named Armistice Day, the holiday was created to mark the end of World War I — specifically, the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. In 1954, Americans renamed it Veterans Day to honor all who served in the military — not just those from one war, or one country.

Changing the name now not only diminishes the profound sacrifices of our Allied partners, but also disrespects every American veteran who served in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and beyond. It’s historical erasure in service of orange tinted ego.

Well Fuck, World War II Was Also a Team Effort

Look, I’ve teased my British brother-in-law for years that America bailed out the U.K. — and if we hadn’t, they’d be eating bratwurst and sipping pilsner in pubs. But the truth? If the Brits hadn’t held the line during the Blitz, in North Africa, and across the globe, America might never have joined the war. Nazi Germany could’ve sealed victory in Europe before Pearl Harbor even happened.

And once we did join, it wasn’t a solo act. General Eisenhower, as Supreme Allied Commander, worked to forge a unified front — with British, French, Canadian, Australian, Chinese, South African, Russian, and Brazilian troops — into a cohesive, global force that beat fascism.

Here’s the WWII casualty scorecard:

• Soviet Union: ~10.7 million
• China: ~3–4 million
• United States: ~416,800
• United Kingdom: ~383,700
• France: ~217,600
• Poland, Yugoslavia, India, Canada, Australia: hundreds of thousands more

The UK lost nearly as many soldiers as we did — with just one-third our population. Should their sacrifice be forgotten so Trump can rename a holiday at the alter of his own ego?

No. F*** no.

Well, fuck. A Parade for Himself

And if you’re still not convinced this is all about ego, consider this: Trump is throwing himself a military parade for his birthday. Tanks, troops, helicopters — the works.

Let’s ignore, for a moment, that draft-dodging Trump once called Americans who died in war “losers” and “suckers.” Let’s just look at precedent:

• George Washington: Hero of the Revolution
• Andrew Jackson: Defeated the British at New Orleans
• Dwight D. Eisenhower: Led the Allies to victory in WWII

All honored with parades — after their service, not during their presidencies. All real military leaders. None needed a procession to feel big.

Trump, meanwhile, thinks he deserves one. Because nothing says “Commander-in-Chief” like bone spurs and self-worship.

Final Thought

Well, fuck.